You choose who you are. Nobody else gets to do that. Sure, your parents and family or in some cases, some other individual(s) who may have raised you (foster family, friends, etc.) influenced parts of your life. They may have directed and guided you down the path they wanted you to go. You may have gone willingly or maybe not. However, at some point in our lives – we get to choose what we want. What we really, really want.
This means – if you choose to remain in a rut – because it is comfortable, that is your choice. After all, you worked so hard to get it cozy – just the way you want.
Walking in circles. Doing the same thing day in and day out thinking “today will be the day I change; today will be the day I get out of this rut”. Then you realized it is rather fitting for who you are and it is so much easier to just stay there and not move. So, you don’t.
Who am I to judge? Who is anyone to judge? It is your life, after all, you get to make the choices. This means if you want to be in that place and whine, cry, and throw temper tantrums because life has been so rough and you are where you are, hey you can do it. Just remember it is your choice. It is the easy path. Don’t expect people to throw you the sympathy card and share in your soap-box speech of ‘how the world owes me something’.
Then there is the other path; the hard path. This is the one where you climb out from your easy position and you move upward/forward. This is the one where you get bruises and cuts from the climb. This is the one that is both frustrating and rewarding. This is the one where you choose to become more than you are. You choose to do the thing that you actually want to do. To define success in the way YOU want to define it.
Don’t buy into the “fact” that success is measured in money. Sure, it can definitely be a by-product when succeeding. Yet, I believe that while success is defined by fame and fortune in the eyes or many, that it is not always the truth. Mother Teresa was successful – yet, she didn’t have money. She lived her life doing the things that she wanted to do. Following her unique path. She became noticed – not because she was looking for her ’15 minutes of fame’ – but because she was doing what she loved with passion and dedication. Can you say that same thing about your life? Are you moving with passion and dedication along a path that you have chosen? Or are you just getting by? Remember, just getting by isn’t something that should make you feel as if you aren’t a success. It could be how you define the word.
It is also what most people do. We just get by. We pay our bills. We raise our kids. We do what is expected. We are the ones who throw money at those who are doing the unexpected. Who are being more. Who are out following their dreams. Why? Because a part of us wants to do it too yet we are so set in our routine and comfortable with what we are doing, that even though we dream about doing more; that is all it is – a dream.
Neither path is right or wrong. Neither path is greater than the other. Just remember that to throw verbal stones to make you feel better for failing to change your path or to make others feel poorly for being content where they are – does not make you a success. It does not make you better than anyone else – and while you may “feel good” in the moment for “letting our your feelings” – it is a lie. You will crash back to that place where you feel just as crappy about who you are that you will feel the need to do it again. Rinse. Repeat.
Instead of doing this – why not accept yourself as being where you have chosen to be. That you can be more, do more, if you decide to get out of your comfort zone and change it up. Shake the dirt from your feet and move. Make more. Do more. Find success the way you choose to define it. YOU define it. YOU make peace with where you are, where you want to be and how you are going to get there. Either do the work or support those who choose to do the work to get to where they want. And remember – never apologize for your happiness.