There is a little thing called moderation; which people often choose to forget. Moderation, for all purposes, is self-restraint. (Define: the avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one’s behavior or political opinions.) The balance that comes along when avoiding one extreme from another. It could even be considered a method of self-centering.
What does this have to do with transparency and privacy? We can view them as two extremes. The first allows us to see everything (or we believe it should) the second allows us to decide how much of ourselves/our world, we wish to share. Of course, these words are often used not just for individuals but also for things, places, etc.
Who gets to decide how much of an entertainer’s life we get to share? A politician? A pastor, preacher, priest? When people take on certain roles does this automatically mean they give up their privacy; those quiet moments when you just need to take a step back and breath? To exist in the moment without being under a microscope? What about your next door neighbor? Your sister, brother, father or mother? How much of their lives are you allowed to share?
Some people feel that the answer is; all of it. We should be allowed into all of it. Every aspect. What about your life? Are you willing to share all of it? Should you share it all? Do other people really want or need to know everything you do at every moment? With the popularity of ‘reality t.v.’ the question lends to answer itself.
We want to focus on other people’s lives so we don’t have to focus on our own. We have a limited number of hours in our day and in our lives. What do you choose to spend those hours on? Focusing on your life or the superficial lives of others?
There are people in both our own country and other countries who don’t have that luxury. They have to fight for a place to sleep or something to eat. Yet, more often than not, we don’t focus on these ‘realities’. We choose to ignore them or pretend they don’t exist. That someone who may be in a more painful or desperate situation than we are is something we don’t want to see.
If we can’t mock it or make fun of it to make ourselves feel better, we don’t want to recognize that it exists. We don’t want to focus on ways we can help our own lives be better or the lives of others. Instead, we often want to wallow in our own existence and live vicariously through the lives of others. Remember that even when you are watching a ‘reality’ tv show, you are only seeing what the producers choose to show you. You aren’t getting the full picture of someone’s life.
We can do something for others to make ourselves feel better. We can donate food to food banks, we can help a neighbor in need, we can visit retirement homes or hospitals, especially during the holidays, when people seem to ‘forget’ their loved ones. We can do these things and bring joy to others while reminding ourselves how much we have to be thankful for. We can recognize how much we are in a position to change who we are and how we do things.
Sometimes, what you think is transparency isn’t. We have yet to reach a point in our society where there can be true transparency. Yet, while we work toward this goal, our privacy rights are being stripped away. We should strive to find a better balance in our lives and in our world.
The problem remains, that historically speaking, men rise who want to rule and control others. (I use ‘men’ in the general term.) Stripping away privacy rights of individuals, while those same rules don’t apply to those who are in positions of power. We need to remember to take care of ourselves first as this will allow us to take care of others. Finding balance in our lives is difficult but it will never happen if we continue to focus on what others are doing.
If you want to give up your privacy and share your life with the universe by having what you may consider “full transparency”, then be true to your choice. If you want to maintain “full” privacy and have no transparency, unfortunately, that now requires living off the grid. I am not convinced it can be done in this day and age.
You can have a balance between the two – sharing what you want to share of your life and/or what you are willing to share while also allowing people into your life. Just be true to who you are and what you want to share.